It seems like Bigg Boss began just yesterday but it turns out they are actually nine seasons down. Nine seasons. Nine seasons of asinine fights, mindless arguments and unintelligent conversations that have the Indian public hooked to it like heroin. The public laps it up like milk, revelling in all the drama that unfolds like they’re those creepy perverts that spy on people through windows. The only difference is that these contestants have, knowingly, signed up for their lives to be on display for three months. One lingering glance in my direction by an unknown passer-by gives me the creeps, here they are putting their entire lives out on the line for people to scrutinize, judge and investigate. Is there a lack of drama in people’s lives that they have to religiously spend an hour a day (or more, if you’re watching the live feed) feasting on pseudo celebrities’ lives? A live feed of an eagle’s nest is more educational than this mind-numbing show.


(Image source: Google images )

I would understand the hype if celebrities like SRK or Ranbir Kapoor (or any other drool-worthy celebrity) were on the show and people were tuning in to watch them berate and rip each other apart. I would probably (read: definitely) pay good money to watch that but here are unknown faces from alien shows and short lived stardom who are basically paid to be part of televised catfights. If you wanted to watch catfights, you could just watch any K serial by the infamous Ekta Kapoor with some Komolika type character twirling her perfectly curled hair while making vicious plans of breaking up some married couple or the other. Why bother yourself watching something they try to sell as reality television but is all scripted, or instigated… Or both? These transitory celebrities have the most uninteresting lives, yet the whole country seems to be completely captivated by them. I had more fun watching Britney Spears go on a rampage of head-shaving self-destruction! *LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE* (cries). During an earlier season, their 9 pm slot clashed with IPL also being shown at the same time. Guess which show was watched more? Hint: It was not IPL. That is really surprising since we’re a country that lives and breathes cricket, yet people chose to forego watching it in lieu of Bigg Boss. Honestly, nothing has shocked me as this has. I was just… I’m still dumbfounded to form coherent thoughts or sentences about it.


I would even understand if the celebrities would be different, but just because they have different names and are different people doesn’t mean they have dissimilar characteristics. There will always be one gay man, one secret couple/ex-couple, one budding love story, one independent and semi-smart woman and one white person who tickles the fancy of the men, and some women, in the country. We’re basically doing what ‘Murica does when casting people in movies – there will always be an African American, an Indian, a Hispanic and a Chinese person because they are absolutely petrified of being called racist. Bigg Boss also has the most ridiculous themes that are followed for about two weeks and then promptly forgotten about, or just completely abandoned. For instance, in the latest season of Bigg Boss, for the first two weeks two people were teamed together and were chained together. Remember when Roman slaves were chained to each other and were made to work guarded by a foreman carrying a whip? Yeah, that. Then again, one person on the show decided the other contestants needed to be dogs so they were made to carry bones in their mouths while walking on all fours. I can’t. I. Just. Cannot.


(Image source: Google images )

Bigg Boss 9 has been very lack-lustre. So much so that the big boss of Bigg Boss has decided that just being patient and waiting for people to complain is too much effort. Instead he decided to speed things along by placing some form of a Baba there and people put on headphones where he speaks to them and instigates them to go fight with other contestants. Brilliant television for brilliant audiences, Sir. We’ve lost so much hope in the world that we don’t even know why we’re alive. Other than bacon, of course.


(Image source: Google images )

Well done, Bigg Boss. My hands will fall off applauding your absolute genius and yet it would never be enough.